To hell with optimism

So...the opportunity to do "Art" in Indiana didn't pan out. After turning down the show that my former girlfriend, Abbie, was producing in the Spring and being offered a role in the next Factory production, I wrote to the AD of Round Barn and asked him if we could figure out "Art" and then deal with the rest of the season later. And he told me that cut-backs had forced "Art" to not be produced this year. So I took the Factory role, which is fine. But I feel badly about having to turn down Abbie's show. Ah, well. Such is life, I suppose.

But it still sucks.

Anyway, so tonight is the closing night of "Six Degrees" and then a big party afterwards. All-in-all, it's been a good experience, I suppose. I know that I could have been in Indiana with Heidi this whole time and that makes things VERY tough sometimes, but I can't look back at what might have been. I have to just accept that I made the right decisions given the information I had and the order that they presented themselves. Hopefully, I will be able to work with her (and earn a living acting...which would be very nice) in the upcoming year.

To that end, I have downloaded the soundtracks to the Round Barn shows that I have the opportunity to audition for later this month. I've been listening to "my" songs and this past week when Heidi came to town for a few days, she brought copies of the sheet music. I got "Jon", a guy in the show with me who is also a music director and a great pianist, to play the two songs for me last night and I recorded them so I can listen to them and get a little practice in before I get together with Heidi to work on them and then do them for the Round Barn AD. Which is good.

So I'm trying to move forward. I was all set to sort of pick up and move out to Indiana for a good long time starting in late February. Now...it's late April at the earliest. If it's ever going to happen. I'll still go to Memphis and the UPTAs and hope to get some bites out of that. Argh!! So life moves ever onward. And nothing is ever really too easy...no matter HOW easy it may look at the start.

Rehearsals for the Factory show begin on, I believe, Inauguration Day. So I get some time off. The holidays and going to Indiana for a while. And...um...stuff. Should be fun.

Binging and purging

It's been quite a few weeks.

I've had some decent auditions and managed to not get too far in any of the processes. I had my first "called in" audition at Steppenwolf (for Lennie in "Of Mice And Men") and I worked my ass off trying to get the 5 page side juuuuust right. And I think I represented myself in a really good way. I guess I just wasn't what they were looking for. And that, more than just about any part I've auditioned for and not gotten, was kinda tough for me if only because it's a role that people have said I would be great at for several years now. And it's hard to be told that over and over and then, when I finally get the chance to DO that role...nothing.

So that, coupled with my wildly unimpressive roles in "Six Degrees" and the fact that it's the start of winter and that always brings a little depression, has made me totally question what it is I'm doing with my life and career. I keep trying to stay positive. I've put an old "feel good" quote on my front door so that I see it every day at least once and remember what I'm working towards. I've registered to do the UPTA auditions in Memphis in February, which will mark the first "cattle call" audition I've done in about a decade (or possibly more). And I've FINALLY started to tear my apartment apart and get myself down to the barest of "things". I've already managed (in just about a week or sporadic cleaning) to throw out 5 large boxes of stuff that I've kept and collected over the years. I've kept almost everything related to shows I've done (since that's my life) but I've also limited the stuff I've kept. Instead of the handful of postcards from this show or that, I've kept maybe 5 or 6 and throw the rest away. If I ended up having a bunch of posters, I have now tossed all but one. Just this evening, I've emptied a small-ish box of junk and will tomorrow be filling it up with just acting stuff. "Memorabilia". Posters and postcards and programs and reviews and show-specific gifts and maybe scripts. Then I can box it all up, have it all in one place, and I don't have to wonder where anything is.

This all links back to my desire, after returning from Battle Creek in June, to really figure out a way to get rid of "stuff" and live kind of bare bones. Because once I had realized that maybe a life on the road could potentially be something I need to accept and try, I also realized that I had WAAAAAAY too much junk in my life to make that kind of lifestyle at all realistic. If I decide to get rid of the apartment and put the majority of my stuff in storage, I want the smallest storage closet I can possibly get. And, besides, it feels good to sift through this crap.

Then, tonight, comes word that I have an opportunity to work at the same theater as Heidi next year. She had mentioned a straight play, "Art", happening in March but what I learned tonight was that the Artistic Director is thinking about me for most of the 2009 season. He has parts he'd like to see me in and everything! So now I feel like all this cleaning and purging and stuff might actually pay off sooner rather than later. The AD needs to hear me sing (of course...the theater does mainly musicals with only the occasional non-musical) but I was planning on working with Heidi anyway in order to get me to a more comfortable place, musically, so this works out great. Now, in fact, I have specific plays and songs to work from and choose songs from.

I'm optimistic. Very optimistic. But also a little frightened at the prospect. It would be great to work almost the entire year with Heidi. Be great to make money acting. Be great to have a whole year where I knew almost right from the beginning what was in store. But I would also be starting all over. At the age of 37. And that's the scary part.

Nothing is written in stone yet. Hell, nothing is even written at all yet. But it's a possibility. And I'm planning on taking this possibility and running with it as far as I can.

(---pause---)

Oh...the "binging" part of the title refers to Thanksgiving, where I ate quite a lot and got to meet a good portion of Heidi's family...which was awesome and a lot of fun. I should elaborate on that more...but right now I'm going to clean out a drawer or two. There is stuff to do!!!

Damn that Heidi (in the best way)

It would be sort of irresponsible (after not posting for an entire month) to allow the day to pass without making public mention of the fact that it was 6 months ago today that I met Heidi. Almost since Day One, when I sort of fell in love with her at the sight of her Boston Red Sox hat when she first walked into the Delta House, I've been doing my level best to try and tell her just how much she means to me and how fortunate I am to have her be a part of my life. And I always feel like I'm falling juuuuuuust a bit short. Well, last week I spent a few days in Indiana and Michigan with her in order to see her and meet some of her family at Thanksgiving dinner. So we went to dinner on Thursday and had a good time and went back to the Gray House (the Nappanee, Indiana equivelant to the Battle Creek Delta House) to hang out that evening and while sitting at the table drinking some wine and playing Trivial Pursuit, she suddenly told me that she was so happy that I was there with her and...well, it sort of melted my heart. It definitely meant the world to me to hear that from her.

Leave it to Heidi to say in a few simple words what I've been trying to get across for months.


There are some business-type things that I should talk about but I'll do it tomorrow or over the upcoming weekend. Right now, I'm just missing Heidi and so I thought I'd post a little something.

Have a great night, everyone.

Mischief Night

Today is Halloween. That means that last night was what we used to call Mischief Night when I was growing up. The idea was to pull pranks of various kinds. TP the yard, egg a few cars, cover the windows of cars with shaving cream...that kinda thing. It always was meant to be done in good fun, though sometimes things got a bit carried away and kids would get into some serious trouble or property would get some damage. But like I said...nothing too terrible.

Last night was the oddest Mischief Night ever.

I decided sorta late (10PM or so) that I was deathly bored just watching TV at the Delta House so I drove the 2 or 3 miles to this place that Jonathan and Heidi had discovered after I left Battle Creek in June. A nice little divey bar that I probably shouldn't name. (If you're coming to the area and would like to check it out, give me a call or something and I'll tell you what it's called.) So I sit at the bar and right away there were all kinds of characters. A loud table right by the door. A VERY drunk married girl trying to sign her credit card receipt. A dirty drunk guy who was trying to hit on the receipt-signing girl. I texted Heidi that I was there and she got excited for me. She asked if there was a crossing guard there and I told her that there wasn't but then as soon as I sent that, lo and behold...in walks a guy in a reflective vest. A crossing guard!!! Amazing.

So I have 3 beers over the next 2 hours and I start to feel like I have had enough. But right next to me has wobbled the loudest drunk guy at the loud drunk table by the door. He's sucking down his final drink and waving off people who are asking him if he's driving himself or not. He can barely walk as he heads out the back door to the parking lot but as concerned as everyone seemed just a few minutes ago, now nobody is even looking at him. I ask the bartender if he's OK and if he should be driving. She sort of shrugs.

So I say out loud that maybe I'll go check on him and make sure he doesn't drive. The people at the bar say generic nice things and I'm off to chase down the drunk guy (did I mention that he is a BIG mean-looking drunk guy who almost got into a fight just an hour earlier? 'Cause that should enter into the big mental picture.) for some unknown reason.

He's at his car, trying to get in. Yup...TRYING to get in. So I get to the car and talk to him. "You alright?" "Where are you going?" "Why not let me drive you home?" He keeps saying no. He's good. I tell him (he calls himself "Bill" at first but then after asking if I'm a cop and me telling him that I'm not, he tells me that his name is "Tommy") that he can barely walk and was having trouble sitting in the car seat and maybe it would be the best thing for everyone if I drive him home and then he can come back and get it in the morning. After a while...10 minutes or so...he finally starts to get upset with me and slowly drives off. It knocks me back a little at first but after I've cleared the car and wheels and stuff he drives faster. "Fine," I think. I did my best. So I get into the car DM has let me borrow and start to head home.

But there he is, at the intersection. He's turning the same way that I happen to be turning. Aaaaaaand, he's weaving. Not nearly as much as I would have expected from somebody who was finding it tough to walk, but there is a weave. So I drop back a little bit so as not to be a part of his accident and, when a little down the road he turns...for some reason I decide to turn as well. I just didn't want this dude to get into an accident. I meant only the best. Y'all have to believe this.

So another turn and now I'm thinking I should be turning around. I'm getting to an area of town that I don't know and I don't want to get too far away from a road that I'm familiar with. But I see him turning into a driveway. "Great," I think, "I've done my really good (yet slightly odd) deed for the year. Yeah, me!". And I start to turn around to head back to the Delta House. But as I look back in the direction of the driveway that "Tommy" has turned into, I see that he's backing up and yelling out the window at me. He squares his large SUV-looking thing in my direction and starts coming at me pretty fast. I panic like crazy. Is he going to come after me for following him? Is he upset that a total stranger didn't trust him behind the wheel of his car? I don't know. The fight he almost got into earlier at the bar was about some guy standing too close to him. So I didn't want to stick around to find out.

I'm in the process of backing up at this point and I get so distracted by this drunk dude coming at me in his car that I hit something. A parked car. I wasn't going very fast or anything, but I bumped it pretty well. Scenarios whizzed through my head but I couldn't think about anything other than "GO!!!!" So I drove off. I started to head back to the Delta House when I noticed that now "Tommy" was following me! And pretty closely, too. Honking. Flashing his lights. And, of course, weaving. Now I'm getting scared. He's still following me when I come up on the Delta House so I keep driving. A ways down the road he decides to try and pass me. So when he's on the other side of the street and just a little ahead of me, I slow down and pull into a driveway to turn around. He pulls up behind me and yells out the window a lot of phrases and names that I shouldn't repeat here but also that he's called the police on me. I yelled out that "is this what I get for trying to help somebody out?" and he calls me a few names and is off.

I turn around and head back home. But he's following me again. I manage to get a bit ahead of him and turn into a sideroad and immediately into a church parking lot. I threw the car into Park and turned off my lights. "Tommy" goes flying by on the road. I wait a second, and get back onto the road and I'm quickly in the driveway at the Delta House.

So now...I have no idea what to do. DM and his family have gone through a lot of problems in the past few months and the last thing they need is some more trouble with a police report. And while I'm almost 100% certain that nothing on the other car was damaged at all, I am frightened to go back for fear that the guy might randomly be there while I check to make sure everything is alright. Naturally, I'll be telling DM all about this later tonight after the show. And I'll, of course, offer to pay for the tail-light that got broken. I have to believe that "Tommy" didn't really call the police. I mean, he was really drunk and that would have not been a very smart thing for a drunk guy to do...call the police while driving drunk. But I'm all kinds of nervous now. I don't want to get into trouble and I certainly don't want to cause more trouble for DM.

But I meant to try and do a good thing. This was all about me watching out for some stranger who obviously needed some help when nobody else cared. And all of this is my reward? I don't get it. THIS is how the world thanks me for trying to be the nice guy? I just hope that I can get DM's car fixed relatively cheaply and be done with this whole episode.

Maybe I'm just better off only looking out for myself from now on. I'll have to look out only for Number One for a while. Because, in all honesty, I feel like I've earned that right after last night.

Half-way home

So it's almost 5PM on Thursday. The day before Halloween. And I just got back to the Delta House from today's matinee. Each show is different than the one before it and I'm not so convinced that that is a good thing. The format of the show could use some MAJOR tweaking and DM could stand to be a little less heavy-handed with the "narration" that he provides. He actually seems a little (playfully) offended when an audience member starts talking on their own instead of waiting for him to feed them lines. And that's not very fun at all. SH and I go on forever and ever in our scene. The least DM could do is allow the audience member to have a little fun while he/she is up there. Once they have their fun, THEN DM can jump in and start shaping the scene the way he feels it needs to be going.

But whatever. The audience seems to be enjoying themselves...which is really all that matters. I suppose.

Yesterday I received yet another call from the agent. This time it was with a theatrical thing that, in the end, just didn't pan out. It was a last-minute thing and I just can't bring myself, at this point, to leave "Six Degrees" with only about two weeks left. So once again, last minute casting sort of screws me. I just don't understand why Casting and Artistic Directors wait so long sometimes to get things done. And, of course, I just know that if I were to decide to not accept parts with the expectation that good, professional, paying gigs will come to me at the 11th hour...that'll end up never happening.

Sometimes this business drives me insane. Anyway...I'm stuck in "Six Degrees" at this point. For better or for worse. I'm not thrilled about it but that's the way it is.

I'm gonna get to head down to Nappanee, Indiana late Saturday night to see Heidi, which is awesome. It's been a rough and VERY long couple of weeks and I really need to see her. While I'm down there I will also (maybe) be able to let people know that I've got nothing going on, gig-wise, after the new year and someone's interest will be piqued. Or not. To be honest, the only reason I'll be there at all is for time with Heidi and anything else that goes on or happens is just gravy. I miss her something awful.

Never a dull moment...

I just got done with one of the longest weekends I've had in a LONG time. I guess I wasn't content with simply finishing up the big show out at Circle Theater, I had to get myself involved with another one of those Columbia College student films. It was a good time and it's always interesting to see how all these students get together to get a film going and shot and everything. But it meant that both Thursday and Friday I had to wake up at 5AM to get to the set by 7AM (braving the crazy CTA system) to stay until 5:30PM or so so that I could train it out to Forest Park for the big show. Saturday I got a little break...didn't have to be on set until 3PM but then had the show afterward. And then Sunday I was called for 8AM, finished up at the stroke of 1PM, then got a ride to the theater to finish out the run. Three days out of those four I saw the sun rise. More times than I've seen it rise in the past year...maybe two!!!

Anyway...in between all of that, I had to pack up and prepare myself for a quick, week-long trip back to Turkeyville for some sort of improvised murder mystery thing that they do at this time every year. So bright and early this morning I found myself on an Amtrak train heading back to Battle Creek. No rest for the wicked, I guess.

DM picked me up and brought me back to the Delta House, which has had some major cleaning done to it. It's no better, structurally, but inside all efforts have been made to make it more of a home and not so much a stop-over for wayward actors. We sat and talked about the gameplan for this show and it seems like good silly fun. It'll be nice to see how it is received but DM and SH (both from "Don't Dress for Dinner") are excited about it. So we'll see.

In about two hours or so, someone will come over and pick me up and we'll all get together and talk about what else will be going on. It's an improvised show so I currently have nothing much to report as far as the show goes. I'll have more after tomorrow's trial-by-fire afternoon show.

Then...I'll go to sleep. I still have sleep to catch up on from the long weekend and I'm STOOPID exhausted.

It's like a damned roller coaster...

"Russ" called today and told me that the lead for the show I auditioned for two week ago was older than they had anticipated the character being. Therefore, all the characters were going to have to skew older so I was no longer going to be called back for the big show he was casting.

So...to recap:

I auditioned to great response.
I got a mysterious call heavily indicating I would be called back but there was some room for doubt.
I was definitely going to be called back, according to the director.
I was absolutely not called back, according to the director.
I did a great job in the show I'm in and was apologized to for being treated poorly and I was for sure going to be called back, according to the director.
The show was being cast in the classic "in another direction" and so the part was no longer available to me.

Watch...three days from now I'll get a call telling me I've been cast and when the first rehearsal is. At this point, that wouldn't surprise me in the least.

Sometimes I hate people.

The saga continues...

Thought (veeeeeeery briefly) about posting all of this last night when I got home from the big show but the Red Sox were busy staging their amazing comeback on the Rays so I watched that...and celebrated with a little Beam...instead. But here we go...

I got picked up at the usual time and place by "Jason" to head off to the big show last night. We get there and as I'm organizing some comps for folks coming in this weekend to see the show, I notice a slip of paper on the desk announcing that "Russ" from "Chicago Dramatists" has made a reservation for that evening's performance. Are you kidding me?! This will never end.

So all through the pre-show time getting dressed and playing solitaire and stuff, we all talked about (among other things) our individual run-ins with "Russ". Each of us had a story except for "Tim", but he was (true to form) chiming in and making jokes along with the rest of us. So we do the show, which turned out to be not bad. (It SURE does get warm in there sometimes...) Afterwards, we all go back to the dressing room and change and get our stuff and slowly wander out to the lobby to eventually leave. Outside, who is standing there milling about? "Russ", of course! (Or did you not see the title of this post?) Most of us go outside (not "Jason", who takes a little extra time to get some of the white out of his hair) and "Russ" tells us each what a good job we all did. He then looks at me and asks if he and I had spoken the night before. I said that, indeed, we had. He then apologized that he was so rude and explained that there were about 4 people right there wanting stuff at the time that I called.

Then he told me that the callbacks were going to happen in a bit and that I was definitely going to be called back. He then wandered off into the night, presumably to find his car. Everybody seemed pretty impressed that "Russ" had stuck around specifically, it seemed, to tell me that I was going to be called back but I don't know. At this point, I'm not expecting anything, though. I mean...it almost seems from one moment to the next, "Russ" has a change of heart or mind. And I refuse to, at this point, get my hopes up in any way.

We'll just have to wait and see how this all works itself out.

(---sigh---)

Sometimes I hate this "business"

This kinda thing doesn't happen too often but it does happen and I always seem to get the ass-end of the situation. I don't really know why. But I do. So here's what has been going on in the past two weeks with a theater company that shall remain nameless but let's call, for the sake of giving it a name, "Chicago Dramatists"...

Two weeks ago (today, as it turns out) I took the commuter train back from seeing Heidi in Indiana for a few days so that I could go to an audition and the big "Escanaba In Love" show (which I had found out as I was packing up had been cancelled). The audition was at the above mentioned company and I was "crashing" it. Essentially, what that means is that the audition time for that day was for members of the Actors Equity union. I'm a candidate (which means I'm sort of, slowly, on my way to maybe one day joining the union) so if there is a slot that opens up somewhere, I can slide in there and audition. So that's what I was trying to do. But they had wildly overscheduled these audition slots and so I waited around for a looooong time (long enough to read the entire original script) to get in. In fact, I was the last person they ended up seeing for the day...after 2 1/2 hours of waiting.

I read the scene they had given me (the Big Scary Guy role, naturally) and did a pretty good job. The director laughed at all the right times, he gave me some notes, and asked me to try it again. So I did...and they laughed some more. "Great", I thought! I thanked them for sticking around to see me and off I went on my merry way. According to the literature they passed out at the audition, the callbacks for the show were to be the following Tuesday and Wednesday. I sat back and waited for a call.

On that following Tuesday night I was cleaning up my apartment a little bit while watching baseball (Go Red Sox!!) and came across the sides I had collected at that audition. "Well," I thought, "guess I don't need to keep these since the callbacks are going on tonight and I never heard anything." I tossed them into a big bag of garbage. About an hour later (this must be about 7:45PM or so) I get a voice mail from some guy (let's call him "Patrick") at "Chicago Dramatists" saying that he wanted to tell me that they had not called people back yet and wanted to let me know that the callbacks were now scheduled for the following Thursday (which, by the way, is today) and if I'm called back I will get a call on Tuesday. Also, if I take another part in another show, they would appreciate me calling and letting them know.

"Fantastic" I think to myself. It seems to me that this "Patrick" couldn't really SAY that I would be called back but that it seemed like pretty much a foregone conclusion. Having to call if I take something else is certainly a good sign...especially considering that I hadn't even been through a second audition yet!

But there's a problem. I have a show on Thursdays. So I called "Chicago Dramatists" to let them know and I finally get to talk to the Artistic Director and Director of the show...let's call him "Russ". So I explained that the message I got was fairly ambiguous and even though I understood that I didn't actually HAVE a callback, I appreciated being told about the later callbacks and I was happy to just maybe get a second chance to read for the part and blah blah blah. "Russ" listened and said that the callbacks would be in the afternoon on Thursday so that IF I was called back it shouldn't interfere with my show that night and then he said "you know what...this is silly, you'll get called back so plan on coming back".

So I thanked him and hung up. Great! I penciled into my calendar that this afternoon (at some point and in some location) would be a callback for "Chicago Dramatists" and stopped worrying about it. But then yesterday afternoon I realized that I never got a call and wondered if maybe "Russ" thought that he had given me all the information so I called last night during a break in "Six Degrees" rehearsals to leave a message about it. It's the passive aggressive way of dealing with the situation...perfect!!

But "Russ" was there. And he told me in no uncertain terms that I had not been called back. So I apologized for my misunderstanding and sorry for bothering him so late at the office and I hope to be able to read for him again sometime and blah blah blah. So...no callback. Which I can deal with.

But what the hell is that all about? Ever since the initial audition, I feel like I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from this company. Calling to tell me the callbacks were moved. Asking me to call if I get cast in something else at the same time as their show. Saying that I would get a call on Tuesday for callbacks. The director flat-out TELLING me that I was called back. And then, when I call to try and get information and finalize this thing...I get treated like I had just dumped poop on his head. I don't get it.

So that's the kind of thing I get to deal with a lot in this business. People who are too busy or too self-important to bother to remember my name or actually give me correct information. I hate it. It's obnoxious. And I think I deserve better treatment than that.

Sorry...I'm just venting right now as I sit at home getting ready to go off to earn my $10 tonight doing this great show when I should be reading for a decent part in a good Equity show that might have actually paid me something that isn't insulting.

ARGH!

#50 is a looooooong time comin'...

So I'm looking back and my last post was July 29th. Um...yikes. Sorry about that. Life moves pretty fast, as Ferris Bueller once said, and I have been working hard but, more than anything, just being kinda lazy. So let's see if I can encapsulate the last 2 months or so...

August...I concentrated pretty heavily on rehearsing "Escanaba In Love". The accent work was a problem and it took quite a while for us to get a dialect coach which slowed me down considerably. I didn't want to learn the lines wrong (with the wrong accent, that is) so I waited until I started to get a handle on the accent to really learn the lines which ended up being sort of a problem. I ended up being, more or less, fine with the lines by the time we needed to be good but there was a frantic cramming period starting about 2 weeks before opening. Very stressful.

September...Basically more of the same. The show is going well. The audiences seems to enjoy it even though the critics haven't been exactly falling all over themselves to recommend us. Ah, well. Meanwhile, I'm auditioning and trying to sort of life out. Which, of course, is going unbelievably well! (that was sarcasm)

Through it all, I'm so happy to say, is Heidi. Though we are only getting to see each other for maybe a weekend or two every month, she remains a huge part of my life. We talk every day, even if it's only through texts, and I love and respect her more every day.

So the reason I finally decided to write some on here is because it appears that I'm going BACK to Battle Creek and the land of the Turkeys! Late last Thursday afternoon, DM called me and offered me a one-week gig that they do every year. Some sort of mostly-improvised murder mystery show that they claim is a huge success and lots of fun. So, after some negotiating with the director of "Six Degrees", which I'm in rehearsals for right now, I'm going. It'll be another nice little vacation and I'll be paid fairly well so I'm happy.

Then yesterday, Heidi indicates that she may have nearly gotten me a part in the Christmas show out at the Round Barn Theater where she's working. Nice. I, sadly, had to turn it down (not that it was ever REALLY offered but it sure was indicated strongly) because after needing to heavily negotiate with the director of "Six Degrees", it would have been extraordinary bad form to go back two days later and outright quit. But I'm interested in trying to work out there. And with "Barefoot In The Park" and "Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum" and "Oklahoma" being put up next year, I feel like there are three shows I could really contribute to. The thing about Round Barn is that they seem to wait until almost the last minute (quite literally in the example with the Christmas show that starts rehearsals tomorrow) to cast and that's 180 degrees from the way I like to try to organize my life. The further away I can get figured out, the better. I don't know how they can expect to get a good cast together if they wait until the last minute like they do. But anyway...I'm still gonna try and figure out how to get myself cast there a time or two. It would be fun!

So there. This is now (hopefully) an entree into getting myself back into the habit of "blogging" every day again. I actually kind of miss it. And...ya know...I always have sooooooo much to say!

So I'll be back. Trust.

Smitten

It's a word that I've used often lately. "Smitten". Now it's been used back at me. An ex-girlfriend, Shannon, has decided to alert me to the fact that I guess the fact that I'm more than a little smitten with "Heidi" is fairly obvious. Ah, well. No use hiding it from anyone, anyway...not that I was trying.

I only mention it because, officially, "Heidi" is part of my Turkeyville experience. The fact that I might have taken something pretty serious out of that experience is surprising...to say the least. But there she is. And I'm planning weekend trips taking her away for her birthday and talking to her every night and missing her like crazy and...well, the usual stuff.

Aside from "Heidi" becoming a bigger and bigger part of my life, I'm busy trying to immerse myself back into being in shows. As I've mentioned, I'm now fully in rehearsals for "Escanaba In Love" at Circle Theatre and it's going pretty well. After that, I'm doing "Six Degrees Of Seperation", which should be kinda fun. Yesterday I got word that the audition for LiveWire Theater's spring show, called "Wonder Of The World", decided to go in any casting direction. That's a euphemism I never really understood, to be honest. If I wasn't good enough, I think I'd rather have somebody just say so...nicely. Anyway, it's just further proof of something I think I wrote about a few weeks ago when I actually auditioned for this show...I have absolutely no "radar" worth any good at all when it comes to things like figuring out how an audition or a callback went. In all honesty, I thought I had nailed this audition. Not sure what happened but there ya go...I'm back to scouring the usual websites for something else to do once 2009 rolls around.

Luckily, I'm mostly booked for the rest of 2008, which is nice. And in less than 2 weeks I get to be with "Heidi" for a few days to celebrate her birthday. And that is something I can really look forward to.

People are always leaving

First things first...I got that weird Circle Theater show that I mentioned getting called back for in my last post. The callbacks were Saturday morning, they cast the show Sunday morning, and Monday night was the first rehearsal. Thanks for the time to move schedules around, Circle!! Turns out the director is a University of Memphis grad (MFA, 2000) and the guy playing my son went to Governors School in Tennessee with Jo Lenhart, the voice professor at Memphis. Small friggin' world!

Anyway, looks like I'm set for the rest of the calendar year. "Escanaba In Love" at Circle and then "Six Degrees Of Serperation" with Signal Ensemble. Cool.

Early Sunday afternoon brought the arrival of "Heidi" and "Jonathan" from the Delta House. We hooked up with SP and his wife and the five of us went down to Navy Pier for some touristy-type fun. "Heidi" wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel, which I have never done because of my wacky fear of heights, and so away we went. And we had fun. After some burgers and beers, we all came back here to hang for a little while and then we did a dive bar pub crawl for a little while. So much fun. Monday was more hanging out (with a short voice-over audition downtown) and then they drove me out to Forest Park for the Circle rehearsal before heading off to Battle Creek again. All told, they were here for about 30 hours and that's just not enough time for my liking.

This morning I got up and walked up to SP's apartment to help him and his wife move stuff out of the apartment into the U-Haul for their trek to Cincy. A couple of hours later and the apartment was empty, the truck was full, the three of us were sweaty tired messes, and I was on the walk back here to shower and maybe nap. I did one. Now it's time to do the other. I hope I don't need to say which one I did first...

SP's wife is mere hours away from being a part of Turkeyville's next show, "Church Basement Ladies". I find it humorous. She'll be trapped in Battle Creek at the Delta House while SP is out on the road in the Western portion of the country touring. What a happy couple!

Well, I guess that's about it for now. Time to nap. G'night...

Keepin' on keepin' on

The whole reason I even bothered to leave the BC again on Saturday was to be in town for this audition Sunday night. If I didn't have that, I might have tried to convince the Delta Housers to let me come along to Cedar Pointe and hang out with them. But...alas..."work" gets in the way. So I did a couple of errand-y type things and then heard from "Heidi" about how she had broken away from the pack for a while (making me wish I was there even more) and then I went off to the audition. An hour and a half travel time (love the CTA) for a chance to do my 60 second monologue that I was convinced he wasn't even listening to. (---sigh---) Then an hour and a half back to sulk in my apartment.

Luckily for me, I was getting constant updates from "Heidi" about how the Delta House group was struggling to get together to leave the park and try and get home. So at least I wasn't having the WORST evening of everyone I knew!

So Tuesday I got invited to callbacks for that show. Who knew? My radar for how auditions go is so completely messed up. Almost without fail, whenever I think I do poorly I get the job (or callback or whatever) and when I feel like I nailed it...nothing. I don't understand how I can be so off about it. Huh.

Last night I had another audition (for a show in the spring of 2009...which seems so far away right now that I actually chuckled when the director asked if I had any conflicts) that...here we go again...I think I did really well with. He's casting in the next two weeks so I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I got to read with a great actress who took direction and had her own ideas and was just full of energy...very nice to have that opportunity. In fact (he says, hoping not to jinx the whole thing) I wouldn't be surprised if we were both cast because we got along great and had a good time reading and stuff. Good times.

Tonight I audition for a Columbia student film and then on Saturday morning I go back to the callback for the Circle Theater show that I thought I had blown on Sunday night. I know a couple of people who were also called back so that'll be fun. In between all that, I keep checking my phone to see if the agent has called about that wacky Army industrial film I auditioned for last week (which I can't believe I might not hear about) and cleaning the apartment up for weekend guests.

The Delta Housers "Heidi" and "Jonathan" are coming into town either very late Saturday or early Sunday to hang for a couple of days so that we can all hang out with SP before he takes off for all points Cincinnati and then Boston for the tour he got. So it'll be the four of us again (along with SP's wife...who is also awesome) just hanging out and I couldn't be more excited for it. I know "Heidi" wants to go ride the Ferris Wheel on Navy Pier, which terrifies me like crazy. But she has promised to ride it with me so how can I turn that down? I may die of a heart attack or anxiety...but it'd be worth it.

But there's a lot to look forward to in the next several days. Which keeps me going. Something has to, I guess...

Returning to the scene of the crime and going crazy...like a FOX!

I know it’s been a while since I last wrote but I’m having a lot of questions about how to proceed, not just in life but in career and in relationship and…well…everything. And so I guess, because I haven’t figured out too many answers, I’ve been reluctant to post anything. Laziness, embarrassment, general ennui…they are all contributing to my lack of posts. My bad.

But I’m right now on the way back to Chicago from a few well-deserved days back in Battle Creek. Why “well-deserved”, you may ask? I dunno. But I felt they were and so I went, damnit. Who are YOU to judge me? Anyway…after a week in Connecticut with Monkey Boy and the monkey kids and monkey family (that can’t stay like that…I’ll get in trouble), I felt I owed myself a little treat. So, naturally, that means going to the BC and hanging with “Heidi” and “Jonathan” and the other folks I’ve come to know and enjoy from the Turkeyville experience. “Heidi” and I had a planned date…our first…and I wanted to see the show in its full version. And I like those guys. Isn’t that enough?

And, of course, no sooner had I purchased my ticket on Amtrak for early Wednesday morning when the agent calls and has an industrial film audition for me for…ain’t it always the way…Thursday afternoon. It seems that any time I want to ensure a call from my agent all I have to do is make plans to go to Battle Creek. Maybe I should make mid-week plans every week. Hmmm…

So I accepted the audition because I had already turned down two auditions a week from them while I was working there. I figured I would think about it a little and then decide whether or not I wanted to go later. Perfect. Well, “Heidi” couldn’t have been cooler about me potentially not being around for a majority of the day on Thursday while I took off for Chicago and then came right back. She really is pretty great. And when she and “Jonathan” asked me about it in the car when they picked me up at the train station on Wednesday as well as announce that they had an added Thursday night performance, I figured that it was going to have to happen. I rented a car and planned to shotgun the trip…drive there, do the audition, and drive right back. The whole trip should take about 7 hours. So I did it, somewhat reluctantly, and I think (---knocking wood---) that I did alright for myself. It was an Army industrial about sexual assault and how that’s not necessarily something that the United States Army might want to be associated with. And who can argue with that? Well, I was auditioning for the role of “First Sergeant”, who teaches the young whippersnappers about how bad it is to rape and inappropriately touch and so on and then, after a hotel party potential sexual assault is prevented, I swoop back in and tell them how proud I am that they listened to all my wisdom. Good stuff. Anyway, I auditioned with this guy who, bless his heart, couldn’t read very well. So he stumbled over almost every line and made up words and stuff. Meanwhile…I came across (I think) as authoritative but with a softer side and an actor who had somehow managed to memorize his lines. Sweet! So we’ll see what happens with that.

Meanwhile, back in Battle Creek, “Heidi” and I continued our romantic interludes. We talked a lot and got to know one another a lot better. But we also got a lot of partying done with the Delta Housers and the various friends that were going in and out of the house. I’ll tell you what…SP and I lived a VERY quiet existence in that place while we were there. We didn’t have friends come in (I had the Raven’s GC visit but that was when the Mid-Lifers had already shown up) and we certainly didn’t have a rotating bunch of people stopping by. But the Mid-Lifers…man!...”Jonathan” had two friends stay overnight on Wednesday night. “Heidi” and “Jonathan” knew a guy who saw the show on Friday night and stay overnight. “Crystal” had a friend in also Friday night. Not to mention the fact that I was there all three nights. It’s always a full Delta House…which I guess is good for general morale so long as nobody really minds, which nobody seems to. I’m actually pretty jealous that they get to do so much as a group and that each person has a choice between four other folks to do something with. Poor SP and I only had each other.

Not that that was a bad thing, mind you.

Anyway, so I’m headed back to Chicago late Saturday night because the Mid-Lifers are all (get this!) going to Cedar Pointe tomorrow for a day of roller coasters and fried dough and stuff. A family outing! Again, I’m jealous. But I have an audition tomorrow night out at Circle Theatre so maybe it’s good that I won’t be traveling on the same day. I can relax, do some laundry, try and figure out my life a bit, and THEN head out to the audition. You know…the regular Sunday. Meanwhile, SP is in his last week and a half or so of Chicago life. And with that in mind, “Heidi” and “Jonathan” are trying to come out to visit next weekend on their days off. Which, of course, would be awesome. “Heidi”, “Jonathan”, SP, and me back together again to do some drinking and catching up. SP’s wife will be there, naturally, but she’s very cool and a welcome addition to the band we’ve sort of created. I can’t wait. AND, if it means another day or two spent next to the lovely “Heidi”, then I’m all for it. So we’ll see what happens.

And in the land of the theater, I have accepted two small parts in Signal Ensemble’s November/December production of “Six Degrees of Separation”, which is a great show and a company I want to work with. Which is why I’m willing to take a small part this time. THIS TIME! I am also keeping my nose to the grindstone and my eyes peeled for any audition that I might even come close to being right for. Nothing too promising just yet. What a fun life, huh?

OK, well, I’ve somehow managed to kill the second hour of this suddenly loooooong trip. And, just as I was wondering what to do with the third hour and had allowed my thoughts to really turn to what “Heidi” might be up to and how the show went and blah blah blah, I receive a text message from her saying that she loved the card I left for her (I left a card for her saying, essentially, that I thought the world of her) and that she was home safe. I’m telling you…there’s a real connection here and this time I refuse to blow it with petty bullshit like I might have done in the past (I admit nothing). Who would have thought…I’m falling for an actress after I had years ago told myself it was never gonna happen again. I must be crazy.

Crazy guy…signing off for now.

THREE months removed?

I'm in Connecticut this week for some family-type business. Sorry to all of you Northeastern folks I'm not able to contact while I'm close by. But time is rather short. I hope y'all understand.

Anyway...while I was on my flight into lovely Bradley International last Friday, ole DM (director of "Don't Dress For Dinner" called and left me a message. Seems he is doing a show in nearby Cold Water and his back is flaring up something awful. He's lost feeling in his left arm and hand and he's even having trouble sleeping and he has been told that it would not be a smart choice to continue on in this show that he's doing. It's a quick commitment (10 days of rehearsal and then two weekends of performances) and DM is now in charge of finding his own replacement. He asked if I would be interested in taking over the role from him. Rehearsals would start in two days (Sunday) but I told DM that the earliest I could get there was Tuesday. I would have to do the family thing, fly back to Chicago, pack and get my various affairs straight (whatever that means), and get to Battle Creek to get a ride the rest of the way to Cold Water. He told me to think about it and get back to him.

After thinking about it a little and talking to "Heidi" and "Jonathan" and my mom, asking my brother for permission to go back to Chicago a little early, and doing some more thinking...I accepted. I left DM a message saying as much on Saturday morning. Hours later I still hadn't heard anything. Finally, after checking in and seeing if he'd even gotten my message, I heard back (via text message) that the theater had thought that missing two days of rehearsals would be too much and that they decided against me. Which sucks...but whatever. If they had somebody closer who could start rehearsals on time, then so much the better for them. I was upset (you hate losing a job...and it would have meant some more time with my new Delta House friends, which would have been nice) but you learn to move on as quickly as possible.

Then, two days (or so) later, I learn that DM is still doing the part. Which is...to say the least...surprising. This theater rejected my offer to come in at the last minute to help out because I would have missed two days of rehearsals (and, for the record, I would have gladly negotiated them down to only missing one day...but I never got the chance to haggle with them) and they decided to stick with the guy who has SEVERE health problems. I mean...loss of feeling in a whole arm?!?! And who is DM to actually accept this solution? After 10 solid days of driving about 45 minutes to and from rehearsal maybe twice each day and rehearsing maybe 6 or more hours a day and not sleeping at night, he's gonna be in a better position to perform than me...who would have maybe missed a few hours of rehearsals early on?

I'm shocked that DM would still be doing this part, actually. I've put my own health in jeopardy for a role before but not when the problem is a serious-sounding as DMs case sounds. And it's hard for me to believe that the theater, the director, or DMs wife would think this was in any way an acceptable solution. That's even assuming that DM himself was stupid enough to WANT to do the part, which I don't think he was.

So anyway, I was almost in the greater Battle Creek area for another 3 weeks or so. But it didn't work out.

What WILL happen, though, is that I will be going back anyway for a couple of days probably next week. I'm anxious to see "Heidi" and "Jonathan" and all the rest of the good folks in Battle Creek again, see "Mid-Life" and maybe even the show that DM is doing (I think it's open by the time I get there), and hang out. This...as it turns out...might end up being my Summer of Slack. I'm not necessarily happy about it but the thought of a day job makes me sick to my stomach and I don't have any show set up just yet. So...I slack. What the hell, there's a first time for everything, I guess.

It's aaaaaaaaall comin' together...sorta

The big news of the day is that my agent has called and gotten me an audition that I can actually go to! The iffy part of this news is that it's a for a musical that will be done next spring. So I have to come up with a rock song that I can sing a capella tomorrow afternoon. 16 bars. Um...yikes! So I'm soliciting my more musically-theatrical friends to try and come up with a good song for me. "Heidi" is on the job with the Mid-Lifers and has already suggested Metallica's "Ain't My Bitch", which I don't know at all but the fact that she thought immediately of a song like that makes me love and appreciate her just a little bit more than I did 30 minutes ago.

She and "Jonathan" came into the city over their weekend. "J-Dub" (I'm trying out different nicknames for him) got last-minute tickets to the third Sox/Cubs game at Wrigley Field on Sunday night so he was on the South Side with his folks. "Heidi" went home to Niles, MI to see her family (and do some laundry) and then trained into Chicago early Monday morning. So the three of us (SP was in Cincy and couldn't join in the fun) and a girl named "Amber" hung out all day. "Amber" was the girl SP met at a callback in New York earlier this year and had hooked him up with the fine folks at Turkeyville. So indirectly she was responsible for me getting cast in "Don't Dress For Dinner" and it was good to finally meet her.

The four of us all got along famously (not surprisingly) and drank a good deal and played music and told stories and laughed and had a great time. "Amber's" boyfriend joined us a little later and in the evening we all went out to a local actor's bar and met up with a friend of "J-Dub's". A lot of fun.

"Heidi" and "J-Dub" had to leave pretty early on Tuesday morning and they barely made it back to Turkeyville in time for call. Good times!!

The last few auditions of last week (the ones on Sunday) went alright. The Signal Ensemble one just after noon went well enough. Quick and dirty. I went in, shook the hands of the guys at the table, did the 60 second monologue, and left. It was almost old-timers day at the audition. I walked in and saw "Andrew" and his lovely wife who had come along. Also, "John" (who was supposed to be my comedy/scene partner in a show I had to give up to go to Turkeyville and also showed up at the actor's bar Monday night) was there. Then after they left, "Melissa" and "Katie" showed up and I got to talk to them. Good times!

It's always fun to run into good people that you know at auditions. Unless they're there to take a part away from me. Then they must be killed...

So as I'm writing all of this, "Heidi" is texting me (she's in the middle of her own show right now!) asking why she isn't auditioning for this rock musical because it's right up her alley (and it really is). This may just be the ammunition I need to get her to move into the city once and for all. Anyway, I told her that if she called me after her show gets out, I'd have the address of the place for her. I sent in my stuff to try and get an audition weeks ago. I had mostly given up on it when the agent called today. I guess they are really trying to use as many different avenues to get people in as possible. So I'm sure that, given the right circumstances, "Heidi" will get her shot at this thing. And get it. From what I've seen...she's really great.

Speaking of which, here is the last picture I took in Battle Creek. SP and I had spent the previous evening (the night of the last show and strike) drinking a fairly obscene amount of Jim Beam with "Heidi" and "J-Dub". We woke up the next morning (eventually) and all sort of dragged ourselves out of bed. SP and I finished packing and cleaning the rooms and stuff and then we grabbed the rest of the foursome and we all went to KFC. And we spent the entire time laughing. After that, we went back to the Delta House for one final sweep in case we missed anything, and said our good-byes to "Heidi" and "J-Dub", got in the van and drove off. But I snapped this one last picture of the two of them waving good-bye like they were Mom and Dad sending their boys off to summer camp or college or something. Here is it...



Downloading this picture off of my camera just now was the first time I'd seen it and I like to think that they are already a little sad at our leaving. Especially "Heidi". Maybe I'm just projecting feelings onto their faces. They have already said several times that the entire dynamic of the Delta House has changed since SP and I left and, honestly, that's about the nicest thing they could have said. I miss the two of them very much. Luckily, I know I'll see them both lots of times and for years to come.

At least...that's the hope.

Catchin' up

It's been a busy week.

Tuesday I had an audition for a student film down at Columbia College. Thought I did pretty well but I still haven't heard anything. Ah, well. Anyway, a good friend of mine (we'll call him "Degel") texted me on my way downtown to tell me that he had been laid off the day before. I called him and he said he was downtown headed to a commercial audition so I suggested we get together for some drinks. Which we did. So good to catch up with him again. He's a good guy. We hung out for a few hours until another friend (we'll call him "Caldwell") came by. He and I were going to see Swell Season (the couple who did all the music for the film "Once" and ended up winning the Best Original Song Oscar last year) at the Chicago Theater, which was fantastic.

Wednesday I had a noon-ish audition for Timeline Theater. It didn't go so well. I feel like they put up with me auditioning time and time again. Anyway...it wasn't my best effort. Then, that night, I had an audition for a new-ish group called New Leaf Theater went world's better. After that, I got up to the bike shop where my bike had been tuned up and picked it up. It felt great to have the bike back.

Thursday I went and picked up and then delivered two dozen cupcakes that I had ordered to my agent's office. With some postcard-sized headshots and a little hand-written note thanking them for calling me so much in the last two months and saying that I was back and ready to make them proud and blah blah blah. Then I went home, changed, and hit the lakeshore bike path. I quickly ran into (not literally, of course) a girl I worked with at a major entertainment company (we'll call it "Ticketmaster") here in Chicago. So we caught up...she's married now, a teacher, living on the South Side, and seemingly mentally healthier than she ever was when we worked together...and I went on my merry way. An hour or so later I realized that my left pedal was starting to kind of hitch so I took it by the bike shop and the guy did a quick fix for it but told me to stay off of it for 24 hours while it dried and hardened and took. So I walked the bike home. Which is always fun.

Friday I hung out with an old co-worker (who we'll call "Bernie"...because I know she hates that) in the afternoon and went to see a buddy of mine in a show that evening. Ended up running into some other friends both at the show and then afterwards. It's odd how the people seem to be coming to me now that I'm home. I'm so damn magnetic!

This morning I had a 10AM audition for the Hypocrites' production of "3 Penny Opera". So I sang! And didn't do very well. Had to re-re-re-re-reintroduce myself to the director, Sean Graney. Which explains why I've never been cast or even called back to any of their shows...I guess I don't make much of an impression on the guy. Ah, well. I biked to the audition and on ride home, the same left pedal started hitching again. So, for the third time this week, I took it to the bike shop. And now it looks like they have to replace the crank. Which takes the bike out of commission for somewhere between 7 and 10 days. Grrrrr...

I walked home, talking to "Heidi" from the Mid-Life cast on the way, changed and left for a second audition. The busses and trains conspired against me to make me one and a half hours late to the audition, which is unacceptable. If I had been able to bike, I would have made it on time. ARGH!!!

So now I'm home and watching the Red Sox lose pretty badly. I'm sleepy but I can't seem to sleep. Tonight I go see my friend "Caldwell" in a show with "Degel" and then go out afterward. Tomorrow just after noon I have an audition for Signal Ensemble and then a few hours later I have an audition for Collaboraction's new show called "Heroes and Villians", which I finished reading earlier and is pretty good. The role they are having me read for is a good one. So here's hoping that works out!

Then after those I'm coming home and cleaning and relaxing. Mid-Lifer "Jonathan" will come into town on Sunday to watch the finale of this weekend's Sox/Cubs series and then Monday the hope is that "Heidi" will train in from her home in Niles, Michigan and the three of us (with SP, hopefully) will just hang out and enjoy each other's company again.

So it's a big weekend...and much needed after today's awful day.

Hooray big city livin'!!!!! The One Who Tucks is BACK, baby!!!!!

Just thinking

It's been my first full day back in the city and, aside from some things like missing specific people, I guess it still doesn't feel like the show is really over. But this always happens. Days off from a show are more of a welcome break than anything and I think that, in some way, my head still kinda feels like these days off have been like a usual Sunday and Monday during the run. So it sort of makes sense that maybe tomorrow afternoon (when I'd be normally doing the first matinee of the week) would mean the odd feeling that accompanies the end of a show might come upon me.

However, it's now 7:45PM on Monday (Central time) and by now SP and I would be nearing the Indiana/Michigan border (right by "Heidi's" hometown of Niles, Michigan...as a kind of shout-out to her) and the reality of another show being over is once again hitting me. This experience seems to be having many different layers of "really being over". Let's see...

The first would be the final bow on Saturday night. During some shows, the reality of the final show hits me earlier and I begin to allow that reality to sneak into the performance...particularly if it's a dramatic moment. A cheap ploy, but I'm certainly not using it that way.

The second "end" moment would have been the end of strike, saying good-bye to other cast members and their children. That was tougher than I would have expected.

The next moment came just finally getting out of bed Sunday morning because I knew that my time was no longer counted in days but hours and possibly even minutes.

The next moment is pulling away from the Delta House as "Heidi" and "Jonathan" hugged us and stood on the porch and waved good-bye.

Then, three hours later, saying good-bye to SP as he helped me tote my stuff into my building and then drove off.

Now, as I realize I should be heading back to Battle Creek for another week of shows but am instead sitting here watching the Red Sox play interleague ball, the realization that another show has really ended is coming over me.

And finally I imagine tomorrow afternoon, as I'm taking my bike in to get tuned up and ordering cupcakes to send to my agent's office to remind them that I am back in the city and ready to work, I'll look at my phone and see that I would usually be headed to the theater or walking on-stage for the first time or cooling down during intermission or something and that should be the final realization that this show...this experience...is really over.

Luckily, I have made many friends that will keep the adventure alive for me.

So, as I told my mother this afternoon as I was doing laundry, I think I'll keep this going. Talking mostly about my theatrical adventures but also eventually linking it to something I've been working on for a while now. So stay tuned. I'm not short on opinions and I'll certainly be giving them soon enough.

I'm excited about my future. It looks bright. Yup...I really believe that.

Y'all have a great night. Let's hope the Red Sox pull this one out (they are currently losing to the stupid Phillies 7-2 in the 6th).

And so it goes...

It's just after Noon on Sunday, June 15th and juuuuuust about all of my stuff is packed up and ready to go. SP and I are gonna try and grab something to eat in a few minutes, bring it back here, and then pack up the van and head out. The last thing that needs to be wrapped up and put away for the trip is my trusty laptop. I find myself oddly sad at the prospect of leaving. I'm a pretty melancholy guy when it comes to the ends of shows. It always feels like a chapter has somehow ended. But this is different. This is stronger. This really IS the end of a chapter in my life.

Shit...as I type this, I'm finding myself tearing up at the mere idea of leaving soon.

I know I'll be back. There are good people here and new friends in the Delta House and even perhaps an ingenue in the movie of my time here at Turkeyville. But all that is a post for a different blog. Or to wait for the memoirs. Not here.

But definitely...I'll be back. But for now, Turkeyville is in the rearview mirror and Chicago lay ahead with all its real-life issues and job searches and auditions and hectic scheduling problems and...

Maybe that's what I'm sad about. Real-life coming back to smack me around again when I've had this decent 2 month vacation. So many questions.

This blog will continue. Please stay tuned. But, for now, it's off to get some fried chicken and then away I go.

Note to self: Don't blubber as you go. Hold it together. Sheesh...

One thing I won't miss...

The Mid-Lifers are at rehearsal and so SP and I are chillin' in the TV room. I went to get off the couch to head into the kitchen and I see the ass-end of something dart into the kitchen. So SP and I go to check it out and it darts out again, through the dining room and into the hallway. Chipmunk.

Did it go upstairs? Stay downstairs? Where the hell did it go? So I go upstairs, making some noise and whistling (thanks, mom, for teaching me how to whistle all those years ago), and I make a sweep of all of the rooms that left the door open (all but "Crystal"), closing the doors behind me as I left each swept room. I found nothing. SP did the same kind of deal downstairs. He found nothing. Is it still here? Did it leave? Does it like cuddling up in the backpack that's on my floor? The laundry on "Heidi's" floor? The stuff on "Scott's" desk? Who knows.

SP and I are now leaving and entering every room like it might be filled with explosives. Taking a cautious step into the room, leaning in, looking around, making some sort of noise, waiting to see what happens, continuing through the doorway hesitantly. Doing the same thing going into the next room. It's a rather comic scene.

But I won't mind leaving the "outside animals coming inside" that happens here. Good thing my first experience with that happened so close to the end of my time here. That said, however, I most likely won't be sleeping too well the next two nights...

Digging

Alright, Monkey Boy, you want deeper? Well, let's see. I'm not very good at it but let's see. You're not going to get huge life lessons here but I guess I learned a few things about myself in the course of these two months (10 weeks...whathaveyou...) so let's see if I can figure those out...

The break was, in the end, a good thing for me. Despite going through some personal issues (which, again, have no place here) the time away from the city was a good thing. For one, it made me appreciate Chicago even more than I already had...which was considerable. My few weekends back were automatically made better just by the fact that I was back home and sleeping in my own bed and able to walk wherever I wanted or needed to go and, mostly, greeted with great weather and people and things to do. Places have a very distinct "feel" to them and, for me, Chicago feels like home.

Which makes me think that it will be quite a while before I take another job such as this one has been. It's fun to see other places and meet other people (God knows I'd never have met a few very cool people among the Mid-Lifers had I not been here) but that's what vacations are for. The acting community in Chicago is, in my opinion, the best and I want to work there. Sure, it's for little or no money but this adventure has proven to me that I do this mostly for the love of the experiences and the opportunities to work with so many amazing people who most of you (out there sitting silently in this strange thing called the Webosphere...or Bloggernet...or E-world...or whatever) will never ever know but who are incredible talents. Every once in a while I'm reminded that the best actors in the world are not the Jack Nicholsons or the Tom Cruises or the Julia Roberts that we're all force-fed but the people who work like crazy in small off-Loop theaters and being the best part of four or 5 shows a year or tour from one small theater musical to another, going all around the country searching for their next couple months of work and never having a real hometown.

I return to Chicago (in 2 days' time...which kind of blows my mind a little) with a huge renewed sense of needing to push myself to do this better. Not necessarily act better (although that couldn't hurt, I'm sure) but to work the business aspect of things better. To glad-hand, to schmooze, to say and do all the right things for all the right people. I need to get out there and just generally do better. I need to not be satisfied, in this next stage, until I'm positive that every important casting director knows who I am and can pick me out of a line-up (if needs be). I need to ensure that everyone gets at least two looks at my headshot in this final half of the calendar year. I need to work with the agency I'm signed with and figure out what I can do to book those jobs and be more marketable and then do those things. I have to dive into this head first and get myself figured out. Stop floundering and just do it. I've resolved to do this type of thing before and it's been a real kick in the ass but I need to keep up with it. Really do it.

And...finally (for now, anyway)...I know once again that there is nothing else I'd rather do than do what I love for a living. It's an unbelievably good feeling to know that you're making bills and able to survive doing only what you love to do and know, deep down where it's so hidden that you don't accidentally talk about it at parties, that you're good at. And I'm beginning to honestly believe that I'm good at this and need to continue on. Because...honestly...what the hell else am I going to do? And every time I begin to wonder to myself whether I need to move on or not, something amazing happens and it looks like something big might just be out there on the horizon and so I'm urged to stick with it and see what that "something" out there might be. Usually it's nothing, though. And I begin to wonder a little more all over again and then I look out and something is again making me fight forward for a little while longer.

It's what is keeping me going...that mirage out there in the distance. But I have to believe that some day it's not going to be a mirage. It's going to be real. And huge. And wonderful. And all of this floundering and wondering is going to make the arrival at that destination really great. Until then, I guess I just live experience-to-experience and try to do something to move forward every day.

This ain't over yet...

37 is a prime number

Today is my birthday. There's not a whole lot to say about all that, really. For the most part, I don't celebrate birthdays (aside from the milestone ones) and they are more a time of reflection and review than anything else.

Fitting, then, that my big day comes so close to end of this little 10-week adventure. And since Monkey Boy was asking about a kind of wrap-up post on the blog, I guess it's only right that I should try and bring some sort of closure to it all. Well, as much closure as I can, anyway. And what better time to try to begin this than the present.

Hmmm..."birthday" mentioned in the first paragraph..."present" mentioned in the second...maybe I care more about these things than I thought. I'm a psychiatrist's dream...

(---long pause---)

(---staring at computer screen---)

I guess I'm just not too sure where to start. If I had to sum up quickly, I would have to say that this has been a pretty decent experience. SP is a great guy to work with (even if he does go off track sometimes on stage) and I don't know how many people I could have been stuck in the Delta House with alone for two months. We settled ourselves into a nice little routine, like I imagine an old married couple might sometimes do, and things were generally pretty amicable the entire time. Actually, thinking back on it now, we never once got into an argument or had anything worse than civil words to each other. SP is a good guy and I'm so happy that we had this opportunity to work with each other. I wish him all the best.

The rest of the cast ran hot and cold with me. JF, who is a great scene partner and just the nicest person, was a real pleasure to be on stage with. She was a great sport (I had to ogle her during every show and she never once held it against me personally) and is a very talented actress. The style of her acting in this show is a little too presentational for my liking but, as SP pointed out the other day, she was directed that way and so she's only following orders. Which I guess I appreciate.

HM and DM were not the greatest actors but as far as people, they almost couldn't have been nicer. They literally made SP and I feel like we were a part of their family, which I know is how DM wants his casts to feel. He knows (or seems to know) that he can't provide everything he would like to be able to in terms of housing and pay and facilities and such so he tries to make up for it with inviting us everywhere and offering a short-term loan during the awkward early-rehearsal period. Which is, as far as I'm concerned, above and beyond the call.

SH also wasn't great to work with but she tried. And, in the end, I guess that's all I can hope and ask for from a bad performer. She and her daughter also tried to include us in the familial feeling, which was nice. And, for what it's worth, she is currently trying to organize an outing including both our cast and the cast of the next show ("Mid-Life Crises: The Musical) for tomorrow night as a sort of going-away/welcome/Tucker's birthday thing. And it looks like most everyone is on board (she didn't know that the Delta Housers were sort of planning to go out that night anyway but...) which is nice. I'm sure it'll be a good time...even if it IS karaoke.

The show...was what it was. It was hot and sweaty and fun to work on sometimes and always had me on my toes and isn't something I'm likely to be able to do again any time soon. Not the best of circumstances, of course, but definitely not the worse show I've ever done...sadly.

The Delta House? Well, it sort of provided a nice metaphor for the entire adventure, I think. It tried to be a good place to live for wayward actors and did, technically, provide us with a roof over our heads, cable television, and internet service but once you got kind of settled the place starts looking as if it were going to fall apart any moment. The IDEA of the Delta House is good, but the REALITY of the Delta House falls faaaaaaaaar short.

OK...so I'm about all "reflectioned" out at this point in the evening. And the Mid-Lifers are starting to return from their evening rehearsal so maybe that means something fun will start to happen. So I'll continue this another time. Probably tomorrow.

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody...

Yup...feelin' sorry for myself today.

It's my usual state of affairs when I get to this point in the year. As another year stares me in the face I begin to wonder just what the hell I'm doing with my life. With every aspect of life, sure, though more specifically to this blog, with this wacky-ass "career" I've chosen. Am I as far as I feel like I should be? Or could be? What is my goal here? And how can I achieve that goal? What is the next step? Where have I gone wrong?

The list of questions goes on and on.

So if the "end goal" is the question then so far as I can tell, it's still the same thing that it's always been: to make a living...somehow...doing what I love to do. Every once in a while I'm able to do that for a month or two. But how do I break through to something full-time? I try and I try and I audition like a mad person and...I dunno. I'm really no closer now than I was 10 years ago. In fact, in some respects, I'm further away. At least 10 years ago I could say that I was honestly making my living acting. Paying all bills through the wonder of somebody wanting to put my fat ass on stage in front of people. But now? I get a 10 month gig in Turkeyville through nothing more than the fact that I'm a nice guy to hang out with backstage (and, let's be fair, that is a HUGE part of why SP offered up my name for this job).

Anyway, so without Internet access for the better part of the last 2 days (major storms + living on the edge of nowhere = last to get service back) I've had a lot of time to sort of contemplate these issues (as well as more personal ones) as I move not-so-gracefully into another year of life. Combine the questions with the fact that I have come dangerously close to being somebody that I hate (a complaining diva...which I'll get to in a minute) and stuck in a place that I'm no longer really enjoying all that much and you get a depressed little Tucker. Oh...and the lousy weather doesn't help. I just wish I had as many answers as I do questions. Naw...scratch that...I just wish I had a FRACTION of answers as I do questions. That would be a nice start.

So the weather here has been awful lately. It's been raining and gloomy almost non-stop for the past 4 days or so and, as I mentioned, we've had crazy-bad storms the past 2 days. Not only that...but it's hot. Upwards of 90 degrees and quite humid. It's making it tough to sleep (or do anything, really) in anything resembling comfort. And the fine folks at Turkeyville are not helping. In their wisdom, they have opted not to keep the air conditioning on during a comedy performance. It's no wonder we're not getting laughs like we used to. And...for what it's worth...I'm not gonna last too long if there isn't any kind of heat relief. See...I'm not what anyone would consider a small guy. As discussed here in this space, I'm not huge. But I'm not small. I also wear a wool jacket in this show. With a tie. In a space that until about 20 minutes before curtain has burners going in an effort to keep the buffet table going. With 35 (estimated) theatrical lights burning anywhere from 3 to 10 feet away from my head. And I'm spending the majority of the show running around the stage like a headless chicken. For an hour straight before I get to leave for intermission.

There's a lot of math there to add up but what it comes out to is that I am ending up nearly passing out at the 3/4 mark of the first act the last few shows. I'm dripping in sweat and it's effecting just about everything. I'm off, some of the others are off, and the audience HAS to be wildly distracted by the fact that that guy up there is mopping his brow profusely and just might pass out or slip into heat stroke before they get to have their dessert.

So come intermission, I am angry enough to have choice words for the director/producer (DM) but smart enough to know that doing that will get me absolutely nowhere. So I go outside, into the 90 degree heat, to cool down (in more ways than one) and try to figure out new ways to not be such a big sweaty mess all the damn time. But it's fairly obvious to all that I'm not happy and so some patchwork solutions are suggested but the fact still remains...not much is gonna help me if the owners of the place flatly refuse to turn on the air conditioning. Even a little. Either that or a costume change is made...which won't happen.

Anyway...I haven't begun a "how much hotter can it possibly get out there" conversation in a long time but the topic is almost always brought up because...well...I'm soaked through to the bone and pale as a ghost. It's the elephant in the room. And I mean that in many derogatory ways. And once the topic is out there, I start feeling like I'm doing nothing but complaining about everything. It makes me mad. But what can I do?

I'm totally rambling now. Sorry. I've got a few minutes to myself here while everyone else is either out at rehearsal or getting their oil changed and now that the Internet access is back I thought I would try to get some of these thoughts down. Maybe they won't keep me up at night or wake me up early in the morning any more if I successfully purge them into the wonder and glory of the Internet.

Or...you know...something.

The new roomies have all arrived!

In the late morning yesterday, the first of our new roommates showed up. "Micheal" and his parents drove up from Kansas (14 hours!) and SP and I helped to shuttle him and his stuff up to his room. Lucky Room #7. They were here for about 30 minutes, mouths agape at the wonder that is the Delta House, and then they all hopped back in the care to get the parents to the airport for their flight back. His assigned room didn't have a bed but did have three box fans and a few other pieces of furniture that had sort of been ditched there by previous Delta Housers. So we had to grab a bed from a room that had two (not mine, though...oh, no way!) and move that in there and push the random furniture around so there was room for the bed and...it was a hassle. Anyway...he's a quiet kid, I wouldn't peg him at any more than 30, and probably feels out-of-place. Everyone else in the House knows at least one other person from a previous gig except for him.

Early evening brought "Heidi", who is also doubling up as the Musical Director for the big show (which, in case I hadn't mentioned it earlier, is called "Midlife Crisis: The Musical"). She has worked here before, about two years ago, and after chillin' with us for a while, accepted our offer to go get some dinner. SP and I had decided earlier that it would be kinda cool to get everyone together for a burger and a few beers on their first night. But by the time we were hungry, "Heidi" was the only one here. "Scott" was off doing something by himself and "Micheal" was still dealing with the airport. Anyway, it was cool. "Heidi" is nice and assigned to the room next to mine...Room #4.

Around 10PM we got "Crystal" who had worked with "Scott" before and spent the rest of the evening catching up with him. She was supposed to go to some room but opted instead to take Room #6, the other room next to mine. So I'm sort of staying in the female wing of the Delta House now. Eh...could be worse, I guess.

They all went off to rehearsal this morning where they were met by "Jonathan", the last piece of this crazy puzzle, who seems like a decent enough guy. I've only really just met him so I have nothing more to report on him.

There hasn't been a lot of time to hang out with them. When they are not at rehearsal during the day, SP and I are doing the big show. So when they get home tonight after their evening rehearsal, maybe some of the "gettin' to know you" stuff will happen. We'll see...

So yesterday's show was a crazy event. The audience absolutely loved us. We had to hold longer than ever for laughs and some of the more subtle stuff was getting huge laughs. It was amazing. And a great thing to have for a Tuesday matinee. After my big monologue towards the end of the show, I got such a monsterous response that we all just had to essentially freeze while they calmed down. But as they did, I would give a little look or make a little noise or something and it would all start all over again. SP has the next line and he, ever the pro, just let it happen. It was pretty cool.

But then today was that audience's polar opposite. They laughed at practically nothing, weren't into the show at all, and even held down loud and looooooong conversations with each other in the middle of the show. It was incredible. I noticed before I entered for the first time in the show that they were quiet and I gave them opportunity to get into it once I enetered but they didn't take and so a couple of pages in, I just decided to get this thing over with. Some of the folks were holding for laughs after lines and getting nothing and it was just becoming painful. So I just started trying to go as fast as I could...putting into effect the lessons we had learned from earlier in the run...and SP and JF (to their credits) caught on immediately to what I was doing and joined in. But that still left SH and HM (and, in his cameo role, DM...who was suffering from a Migraine). They didn't seem too aware that we were dying out there and so they kept the show at the same pace they always do it...which can sometimes be painfully slow. So while half of us were on Rain Pace, we were only really able to cut 10 minutes off of the show. But whatever.

I just don't understand how people who supposedly go see lots of theater can be so completely inconsiderate when it comes to things like not talking during the show. I mean, these people travel in busses to these things and they go all the time...has nobody told them that if they can hear us than we can hear them? I find it hard to believe. But wow were they rude.

So far, we don't have any cancelled shows this week. That means that tomorrow's show will be our first Thursday matinee in three weeks. It also means that we could potentially have a 7-show week for the first time in that same span which will, I'm thinking, test our collective stamina. It's not hard to put 2 or 3 shows together without a day off, but 7 is a marathon...especially with this exhausting show.

So we'll see how that all goes, as well.

The countdown is on...12 scheduled shows to go.

Back to the grind

So last week was, by most accounts, bizarre. BUT...it was bizarre personally. So, sadly, you don't get to know anything about it. Because that has nothing to do with my adventure here. You'll all just have to wait until my memoirs come out and read about the wackiness and almost farcical miscommunication problems of the past 7 days or so. And I guarantee you'll all laugh.

Because it's funny only because it isn't happening to you.

As for the show...it goes on. Not that I'm counting, but we have 14 scheduled shows to go. I say "scheduled" because we've had two shows a week cancelled the past two weeks. So it could already be down to 10 shows remaining for all I know. But I'm trying not to look that far ahead just yet.

One interesting thing happens today, however. I get 5 new roommates. Well, actually, I get one returning roommate (the one we decided to call "Scott") and 4 new ones. Either way, the little house that SP and I have put together is in for a MAJOR shock with the addition of 5 more people. Nobody is really sure where people will be living or when they are arriving but I imagine that most of them will be around and sitting in my now-usual couch spot by the time my post-matinee beer is cracked this afternoon. So "Scott" arrived around midnight last night and quickly disappeared into his room, which seems to be how he rolls.

It should be interesting to see what kinds of people will walk through the front door of the Delta House over the course of the day.

I'll post harsh criticism about each one later, I'm sure...

Another 50 hours

So we just got back from the big matinee show and we learned that we, once again, have 50 hours with nothing to do. Tomorrow's matinee has been cancelled and so has Friday's matinee. So our next show isn't until Friday evening. Let the "doing nothing" commence!

Also, I learned today that SP isn't planning on going home this weekend. Whoops! Glad I asked. Not only have I made plans, but I have also got some auditions this Sunday back in the city. So it looks like I'm going the Amtrak way. Not ideal, but definitely less money than renting a car (and paying for gas as I go...and looking for parking in Chicago...and tolls...etc, etc, etc...). I'll have to look into the schedules and whatnot this afternoon (I have plenty of time, after all). Just one more thing to pile on.

As for the show...which is what this blog is about, not my travel arrangements for various weekends...it's starting to get rather mush-mouthed by a lot of people. Concentration is at an all-time low, it seems, and that gets wildly frustrating to be on stage with. We're picking up the pace of it, for the most part, but it could still be a LOT faster. At this point, though, everyone seems to be happy with what we're putting out there for people to see and so there isn't any more work being done. That always drives me a little crazy. As performers, we can never stop giving 100% to each performance. Sure, I joke a lot about giving less than my all (usually depending on the low attendence for a given show) but I would never sleepwalk through a show. It just doesn't seem like the right thing to do.

I dunno. I woke up in kind of a pissy mood today and I'm trying not to let it effect my thoughts on the show but it's tough. I mean...how are we not selling this show well? Is marketing this thing REALLY that hard to do? I'm freakin' stuck here so why can't I just do the show? How aren't more school groups coming to this thing? It's the end of the school year...drama classes HAVE to be looking for something to waste time on. Enter "Don't Dress For Dinner"! It seems almost like a no-brainer.

Ah, well...what the hell do I know?

Parenthetically speaking (of course)

Saturday matinee: We managed to, as a group, keep some of that speed in the lines that we discovered helps the reactions of the audience for this show. And it helped. I got some great reactions and even got the back of the house on my side at one point (not sure how I did that, though). The back of the house generally seems to dig on me. Maybe I'm a fan of the folks who either see the show but aren't there for the buffet beforehand or they sneak in. Either way, I'm the favorite of the cheapskates. I'll take it.

Saturday evening: Well, after the show actually began, I had to give up hope that we would be able to cancel it. Hello, Captain Obvious! My body reacted by allowing me to develop some heat exhaustion halfway through Act I. I was getting a little woozy and suddenly I got MAJOR stomach cramps...a classic sign. I finished the act but not before essentially ending it doubled over and using whatever was around (the bar, the couch, JF) to help get myself as upright as possible. At intermission I went outside into the 70+ degree weather to cool off (!!!) and managed to finish the show with little issue.

So I've now stepped up my request to keep the air conditioning on during shows. It took me a few weeks to get the ceiling fans going (because at least that'll circulate the air) so I hope it doesn't take me as long to get the A/C on. We're all just crazy hot up there. The lights are within touching distance (for me, anyway), the wool jacket I wear through the better portion of the show, the fact that I'm all tense and jittery and running around almost all of Act I...they all just lead to an unexceptable situation for a "professional" theater.

Anyway...the van was gassed up and ready to go so after the show SP and I jumped inside and hit the road. Three hours later (just past midnight Central Time) he was dropping me off at home.

Sunday: Did some much-needed laundry and got a much-needed haircut (in the hopes that less hair will be cooler for the show). Then the party at the Duncks' place, which was great. I won't go too much into it (the less said the better, methinks) but I had a great time. Saw a bunch of good friends and a few new ones.

Monday: My day of recovery. Tried to clean a bit and pack up for the trip back to the BC. A nice day to kind of try to recharge the proverbial battery. Took a walk, took a nap...I'm a party animal, I tells ya! Then Monday night SP and I took the long quiet ride back to the Delta House.

This afternoon we have the usual Tuesday matinee pick-up performance which is never our best effort of the week. Turkeyville should really charge a little less for the Tuesday matinee. Especially with this show. It's never a good one. But I plan on taking the things I learned from last week (primarily the "speed it all up" aspect of the show) and putting them back into use. We'll see how it goes.

Worst. Audience. Ever.

So I actually wanted to post last night but was waaaaaaay too depressed to even bother.

After two days (50 fun-filled hours!) with nothing much to do we finally got to go back to the turkeys last night and perform. All-in-all, I was excited to get back to it. I'm not really wired for a whole lot of down time and I'm the type of person who gets a whole lot more done and is a lot more productive when I'm busy. When there's down time...I'm a slug.

Aaaaanyway...we had the worst audience so far last night. They hardly ever laughed, they weren't responsive in any way at all, they just acted as if they hated it. About half-way through the first act, I decided that I couldn't deal with it any more. So I started just plowing through the script. The timing was getting all thrown off because of the lack of laughs and it was distracting us up there on stage which, I was thinking, translated to the house. A couple of the other actors got the hint and joined me in the rain pace. SP got it. So did JF. The others...not so much.

At intermission I said what I had decided...that we could make it through the second act in 15 minutes if we tried hard enough and I'll be damned if we didn't come pretty close. We shaved all kinds of time off the act AND actually got some laughs. And everyone ended up playing along as best as they could!! If nothing else, it showed me that you can't allow the show to get caught in a groove you think works because it's that much harder to switch it up if it needs to go in a different direction. Also...it told me (and, hopefully, the rest of the cast) that when we go for broke in terms of pace on this thing...it's a funny show. If we pause and take it slow in the hopes that the audience will follow along, we lose them. They want to have to try to catch up if for no other reason than it's that much more of a pay-off when they find that they are ahead of the action on stage (JF going to get the much-talked-about coat to go home towards the end of the show).

So we have to plow through this thing. We found a decent rhythm for a while there but last night the awful audience paired with the awful performance proved that we needed to mix it up a bit. Because when we get compacent, we get REALLY lazy. Last night proved that.

After the show last night was my group's turn at the "beggars line" outside the theater and we were all so worried walking out there that there was a lynching party or something waiting for us. Villagers with torches and pitchforks, perhaps. But no. We were greeted with big smiles and nothing but compliments (except the guy who said that I was good and should play Frankenstein someday...argh!) much to our collective surprise. I even made sure I was standing kind of in line but also kind of behind the other two...in case we needed to run they could act as "acceptable losses". But it wasn't needed. They loved it.

Just goes to show how much we know. At least we were smart enough to, eventually, pick things up and maybe pull out a victory by a slim margin.


Now...today. Ugh. Today we have two scheduled shows. Then SP and I are high-tailing it back to Chicago for the holiday weekend. Problem is, according to all indications we have less than a dozen people reserved for tonight's show. If we were to cancel that show (because I estimate the break-even point to be about 25...I'm told Turkeyville considers it to be 20 people) then SP and I could leave the BC by about 4:30PM and be in Chicago by 7PM. Let me say that again...on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, I could be in my apartment before dark! I could potentially go see a show tonight if the timing works out! I could go hang out with friends and still get a decent night's sleep before the Duncks' all-day party tomorrow! How awesome would that be!?!?

So SP and I (and every other actor in this thing) are praying to whatever god we want to that the plug is pulled on this show sometime this afternoon while we stumble across the boards in the matinee. Please...if you end up reading this on Saturday afternoon...keep your fingers crossed for us. I need that extra night in the city. God, I need it so badly...

I hope y'all have a great Memorial Day weekend and get the much-needed chance to relax a little bit. I'll post when I'm able.

I coulda been a Casual Male...

So for the past several days I've seen this television commercial for a men's clothing store called Casual Male XL. It's your pretty usual, run-of-the-mill kind of advertisement but the only difference here is that I went and auditioned for that commercial. Yup. About two months ago (just before I came out here to lovely Battle Creek) I went into my agent's office and gave a reading for the main guy in the commercial. And I think I did pretty well. But I never heard back so I sort of forgot about it. Now, however, the ad is on TV and I'm seeing something I've auditioned for actually on the air.

Luckily for me (in a weird sort of sense) the guy who got the commercial is much bigger than I am. I fit the mold for the clothing store in terms of height and, truth be told, weight (I'm a big dude)...but I'm just not big enough for the ad. Cool! It's the sort of professional rejection I guess I'll take.

Then the other day I saw another ad for the same store with New England Patriots lineman Matt Light in the role as the "big and tall guy". WHAT?!?! I lost a part to a professional athlete? That ain't so cool. Like Matt Light and his three Super Bowl rings needs to get a tiny big and tall man's store commercial. Maybe I should go out for Patriots mini-camps and see how I do.

Not sure how I feel about it all. It's just that it's sort of a first for me, seeing a commercial I thought I might have actually had locked up.

Damn.

In show-related news, our show this afternoon was cancelled due to (I can only guess) lack of interest. Likewise tomorrow's matinee. So that gave me, between the end of yesterday's matinee and tomorrow night's evening performance, about 50 hours with absolutely nothing to do. It's pretty painful, to tell you the truth. I'm trying to keep myself productive and busy (I'm still looking for auditions and classes and the like) but I'm also doing a LOT of slacking off. Sitting around, watching television, going to see the latest Indiana Jones movie, looking on Facebook for whoever's name I happen to remember. That sort of thing.

It's not very fun. So there's nothing much to report from the BC. Just that I actually can't wait until tomorrow night's show. I know, I know. I'm as surprised as anyone that I just typed that out.

I must be exhausted...