Oh, it's ON!!!

Accomplished today (since the last post): Rehearsed, grocery shopped a little, rehearsed, did run-throughs, rehearsed, and worried like crazy.

Well, so the big first audience is tonight. I'm...scared out of my mind. Since my last post, I've quite literally done nothing that isn't somehow associated with the show. Even if it's just sitting on my bed and worrying like crazy all by myself. Which I've done plenty of.

I just don't know what else can be said. SP and SH are just not getting the lines down. And in a little over 3 hours, we have an audience of Turkeyville employees to act for and it's an awful feeling being this unsure. As I've said before here, once I arrive onstage on Page 4 (or maybe 5), I'm almost never offstage and that means that I'm around and available to help out if anyone forgets a line. Don't get me wrong, I'm not AGAINST being there to help out a fellow castmember, but I am almost to the point where they are expecting me to cover for them if they go up or start jumping around the script wildly. And that upsets me. I am not an insurance policy. I have lots of stuff to do and take careof my own self. Damn...

I also don't know what more can be done. I've offered the Delta House as a line-through spot. I've sat down and worked one-on-one on scenes I'm not in or a part of, I've stayed late at rehearsals and sat there doing line-throughs for the benefit of others...I just don't know. Maybe I'm being bitter. Maybe I'm being unduly upset. But I really don't think so. Quite honestly, if I can have all my lines down and be in a comfortable position with the amount of lines I have, the two of them should be able to have all that down as well. I'm not (nor have I ever been) a line-counter but I'm sure I have to have very nearly the same number of lines as the two of them. I mean...it's now or never guys!

Anyway...here I sit. Just making myself ill with worry. Eating more than I've probably eaten all week (put together maybe!) because I'm just not sure of how this is all gonna go tonight. I'll have to stop soon, because I almost never eat very close to a show, but for now it's how I'm coping with my fear of tonight. SP is outside studying lines. Which might be helping him but doesn't help me at all. I guess if it helps him, it'll be worth it.

In the meantime...AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sadly, there isn't much else to report now. But tonight I'm sure I'll have a lot to say. So wish me luck, keep your fingers crossed, light a candle for me, and anything else you can think of. This...could get interesting.