Alone Again (with just my thoughts), Naturally

Accomplished today: Blocked pages 16-37

What to say about today? Our first truly awful day here in God’s Country. Not that it has anything to do with the show I’m actually rehearsing, mind you. It’s just been all rainy and overcast and generally ugly all day. And now it’s thundering out and I’ve seen flashes of lightning. And, according to everything I’ve heard today, it’s not going to stop until Sunday…at the earliest. It’s also going to get cold. Like…snow cold (over the weekend). Wonderful. So I get to live in an iffy (at best) house that may or may not end up being the World’s Largest Collander and drive to rehearsals over roads that looked earlier today for all the world like they were about 4 inches away from overflowing. So either they will become impassable or just frozen over into a huge ice slick. Either way, maybe I’m most glad that I’m not driving at all the next 9 weeks. Or at least for the next few days.

I dunno. Maybe I’m being too negative. I don’t like that this might sound like I’m bitching. I’m just not sure of what might happen. And it’s not just this situation. I panic at the beginning of anything new. In a new apartment, I will wonder if the stove is leaking gas. In a new city, I will wonder if I’ll ever find work or an acting gig or a girl to love (or simply pine over, as is usually the case). In a new relationship, I will wonder when the camera crew will jump out from behind a building or tree and announce that I’ve been the victim of some wild prank.

Well, to be fair, I wonder that for the duration of the relationship. God, I need serious help.

But this is different. Everything is just kind of out of my control. I’ve already gone to as many lengths as I could think of to provide myself with some comforts of home in this foreign environment. And nothing I do seems to be working. Today I rehearsed for about 6 hours and the rest of the time I’ve been kind of left on my own to review the decisions and events of my life and wonder what I did right and lament about what has gone wrong and…this can’t be healthy, can it? It’s not any of it anything to put into this journal, because this is supposed to be about the adventures of an actor in a completely new situation, but it’s a frightening thing. At least in Chicago I had the added bonus of almost constantly being distracted by this or that. Going to see shows, hanging out with friends, places to drink within walking distance. Here? I’m trapped. Trapped with only my thoughts, this computer, and a wireless Internet connection. My constant companions.

Yup. I need some serious help.

So rehearsals are going well (back to the task at hand). We’ve now blocked just over half the show (which, by the way, is "Don't Dress for Dinner", a really well-written and funny British bedroom farce). Not too shabby, really. For a farce of any kind, knocking out the blocking like we’ve been doing is kind of impressive. Testament to the fact that a director who has actually given some thought to the way the show might end up looking (has does his/her homework) is an invaluable asset to a production. DM knows what he wants. But he’s not so tied to those thoughts that if someone in the cast throws out an interesting or funny idea, he will dismiss it outright. He has, on several occasions, gone with something that an actor did or that just “happened” over his own idea because he likes it better. And that is so very nice to work with…especially after Joe from “The Time Of Your Life”, who assembled this kick-ass cast of talented folks and then didn’t want to hear any of their (our) ideas about anything. THAT was incredibly maddening.

Yesterday the blocking just dealt with myself, SP (who is very good), and SH (SP’s wife and my mistress). I dare say that we’re sort of playing against type in this one. But what we each might lack in the “usual things” the characters might require, I think we each make up for in various ways. It’s fairly interesting. Anyway, today we added HM (as SP’s mistress) and JF (who is actually quite good as the cook) and it’s getting to be more fun. We’re each finding nice character things to play with and off of and it’s just a good time. I’m supposed to be caught in a compromising position with JF’s character at one point and she was very uncomfortable with it. Not to the point of asking for it not to happen at all (which would have been awful) but just not wanting to dive right in with it today. I mean, it’s understandable, I suppose. We’ve only just met, really. And the last thing any women wants just after meeting me is a simulated (or real, for that matter) buggering from behind. But anyway, it’s just nice when the “what the fuck” attitude is there. My best memory of that attitude is when Amanda joined the “Rocky Horror Show” cast a week into dance rehearsals and she was thrown into a simulated sex scene with myself and Shannon-Boy-Shannon, who I’d known for a few years. We got our orders (“create something provocative”) and she turned immediately to me and said “well, I guess you should put your hand on my breast”. I sort of fell in love with her a little bit at that moment. Anyway…I like it when people just go for it. That’s not to say I think any less of JF. She seems genuinely talented and I’m left to wonder why somebody who obviously had big dreams (you should see the knockout headshot she uses, which is probably more than a few years old at this point) and aspirations of fame and fortune (or whatever) decided to end up in or near Battle Friggin’ Creek, Michigan. Of all places! There’s a story there and I might just have to distract myself from all my “life thoughts” long enough to try and get that story out of her.

Hey! I have a project!! This could be a good thing for me!!