So...the opportunity to do "Art" in Indiana didn't pan out. After turning down the show that my former girlfriend, Abbie, was producing in the Spring and being offered a role in the next Factory production, I wrote to the AD of Round Barn and asked him if we could figure out "Art" and then deal with the rest of the season later. And he told me that cut-backs had forced "Art" to not be produced this year. So I took the Factory role, which is fine. But I feel badly about having to turn down Abbie's show. Ah, well. Such is life, I suppose.
But it still sucks.
Anyway, so tonight is the closing night of "Six Degrees" and then a big party afterwards. All-in-all, it's been a good experience, I suppose. I know that I could have been in Indiana with Heidi this whole time and that makes things VERY tough sometimes, but I can't look back at what might have been. I have to just accept that I made the right decisions given the information I had and the order that they presented themselves. Hopefully, I will be able to work with her (and earn a living acting...which would be very nice) in the upcoming year.
To that end, I have downloaded the soundtracks to the Round Barn shows that I have the opportunity to audition for later this month. I've been listening to "my" songs and this past week when Heidi came to town for a few days, she brought copies of the sheet music. I got "Jon", a guy in the show with me who is also a music director and a great pianist, to play the two songs for me last night and I recorded them so I can listen to them and get a little practice in before I get together with Heidi to work on them and then do them for the Round Barn AD. Which is good.
So I'm trying to move forward. I was all set to sort of pick up and move out to Indiana for a good long time starting in late February. Now...it's late April at the earliest. If it's ever going to happen. I'll still go to Memphis and the UPTAs and hope to get some bites out of that. Argh!! So life moves ever onward. And nothing is ever really too easy...no matter HOW easy it may look at the start.
Rehearsals for the Factory show begin on, I believe, Inauguration Day. So I get some time off. The holidays and going to Indiana for a while. And...um...stuff. Should be fun.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Binging and purging
It's been quite a few weeks.
I've had some decent auditions and managed to not get too far in any of the processes. I had my first "called in" audition at Steppenwolf (for Lennie in "Of Mice And Men") and I worked my ass off trying to get the 5 page side juuuuust right. And I think I represented myself in a really good way. I guess I just wasn't what they were looking for. And that, more than just about any part I've auditioned for and not gotten, was kinda tough for me if only because it's a role that people have said I would be great at for several years now. And it's hard to be told that over and over and then, when I finally get the chance to DO that role...nothing.
So that, coupled with my wildly unimpressive roles in "Six Degrees" and the fact that it's the start of winter and that always brings a little depression, has made me totally question what it is I'm doing with my life and career. I keep trying to stay positive. I've put an old "feel good" quote on my front door so that I see it every day at least once and remember what I'm working towards. I've registered to do the UPTA auditions in Memphis in February, which will mark the first "cattle call" audition I've done in about a decade (or possibly more). And I've FINALLY started to tear my apartment apart and get myself down to the barest of "things". I've already managed (in just about a week or sporadic cleaning) to throw out 5 large boxes of stuff that I've kept and collected over the years. I've kept almost everything related to shows I've done (since that's my life) but I've also limited the stuff I've kept. Instead of the handful of postcards from this show or that, I've kept maybe 5 or 6 and throw the rest away. If I ended up having a bunch of posters, I have now tossed all but one. Just this evening, I've emptied a small-ish box of junk and will tomorrow be filling it up with just acting stuff. "Memorabilia". Posters and postcards and programs and reviews and show-specific gifts and maybe scripts. Then I can box it all up, have it all in one place, and I don't have to wonder where anything is.
This all links back to my desire, after returning from Battle Creek in June, to really figure out a way to get rid of "stuff" and live kind of bare bones. Because once I had realized that maybe a life on the road could potentially be something I need to accept and try, I also realized that I had WAAAAAAY too much junk in my life to make that kind of lifestyle at all realistic. If I decide to get rid of the apartment and put the majority of my stuff in storage, I want the smallest storage closet I can possibly get. And, besides, it feels good to sift through this crap.
Then, tonight, comes word that I have an opportunity to work at the same theater as Heidi next year. She had mentioned a straight play, "Art", happening in March but what I learned tonight was that the Artistic Director is thinking about me for most of the 2009 season. He has parts he'd like to see me in and everything! So now I feel like all this cleaning and purging and stuff might actually pay off sooner rather than later. The AD needs to hear me sing (of course...the theater does mainly musicals with only the occasional non-musical) but I was planning on working with Heidi anyway in order to get me to a more comfortable place, musically, so this works out great. Now, in fact, I have specific plays and songs to work from and choose songs from.
I'm optimistic. Very optimistic. But also a little frightened at the prospect. It would be great to work almost the entire year with Heidi. Be great to make money acting. Be great to have a whole year where I knew almost right from the beginning what was in store. But I would also be starting all over. At the age of 37. And that's the scary part.
Nothing is written in stone yet. Hell, nothing is even written at all yet. But it's a possibility. And I'm planning on taking this possibility and running with it as far as I can.
(---pause---)
Oh...the "binging" part of the title refers to Thanksgiving, where I ate quite a lot and got to meet a good portion of Heidi's family...which was awesome and a lot of fun. I should elaborate on that more...but right now I'm going to clean out a drawer or two. There is stuff to do!!!
I've had some decent auditions and managed to not get too far in any of the processes. I had my first "called in" audition at Steppenwolf (for Lennie in "Of Mice And Men") and I worked my ass off trying to get the 5 page side juuuuust right. And I think I represented myself in a really good way. I guess I just wasn't what they were looking for. And that, more than just about any part I've auditioned for and not gotten, was kinda tough for me if only because it's a role that people have said I would be great at for several years now. And it's hard to be told that over and over and then, when I finally get the chance to DO that role...nothing.
So that, coupled with my wildly unimpressive roles in "Six Degrees" and the fact that it's the start of winter and that always brings a little depression, has made me totally question what it is I'm doing with my life and career. I keep trying to stay positive. I've put an old "feel good" quote on my front door so that I see it every day at least once and remember what I'm working towards. I've registered to do the UPTA auditions in Memphis in February, which will mark the first "cattle call" audition I've done in about a decade (or possibly more). And I've FINALLY started to tear my apartment apart and get myself down to the barest of "things". I've already managed (in just about a week or sporadic cleaning) to throw out 5 large boxes of stuff that I've kept and collected over the years. I've kept almost everything related to shows I've done (since that's my life) but I've also limited the stuff I've kept. Instead of the handful of postcards from this show or that, I've kept maybe 5 or 6 and throw the rest away. If I ended up having a bunch of posters, I have now tossed all but one. Just this evening, I've emptied a small-ish box of junk and will tomorrow be filling it up with just acting stuff. "Memorabilia". Posters and postcards and programs and reviews and show-specific gifts and maybe scripts. Then I can box it all up, have it all in one place, and I don't have to wonder where anything is.
This all links back to my desire, after returning from Battle Creek in June, to really figure out a way to get rid of "stuff" and live kind of bare bones. Because once I had realized that maybe a life on the road could potentially be something I need to accept and try, I also realized that I had WAAAAAAY too much junk in my life to make that kind of lifestyle at all realistic. If I decide to get rid of the apartment and put the majority of my stuff in storage, I want the smallest storage closet I can possibly get. And, besides, it feels good to sift through this crap.
Then, tonight, comes word that I have an opportunity to work at the same theater as Heidi next year. She had mentioned a straight play, "Art", happening in March but what I learned tonight was that the Artistic Director is thinking about me for most of the 2009 season. He has parts he'd like to see me in and everything! So now I feel like all this cleaning and purging and stuff might actually pay off sooner rather than later. The AD needs to hear me sing (of course...the theater does mainly musicals with only the occasional non-musical) but I was planning on working with Heidi anyway in order to get me to a more comfortable place, musically, so this works out great. Now, in fact, I have specific plays and songs to work from and choose songs from.
I'm optimistic. Very optimistic. But also a little frightened at the prospect. It would be great to work almost the entire year with Heidi. Be great to make money acting. Be great to have a whole year where I knew almost right from the beginning what was in store. But I would also be starting all over. At the age of 37. And that's the scary part.
Nothing is written in stone yet. Hell, nothing is even written at all yet. But it's a possibility. And I'm planning on taking this possibility and running with it as far as I can.
(---pause---)
Oh...the "binging" part of the title refers to Thanksgiving, where I ate quite a lot and got to meet a good portion of Heidi's family...which was awesome and a lot of fun. I should elaborate on that more...but right now I'm going to clean out a drawer or two. There is stuff to do!!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Damn that Heidi (in the best way)
It would be sort of irresponsible (after not posting for an entire month) to allow the day to pass without making public mention of the fact that it was 6 months ago today that I met Heidi. Almost since Day One, when I sort of fell in love with her at the sight of her Boston Red Sox hat when she first walked into the Delta House, I've been doing my level best to try and tell her just how much she means to me and how fortunate I am to have her be a part of my life. And I always feel like I'm falling juuuuuuust a bit short. Well, last week I spent a few days in Indiana and Michigan with her in order to see her and meet some of her family at Thanksgiving dinner. So we went to dinner on Thursday and had a good time and went back to the Gray House (the Nappanee, Indiana equivelant to the Battle Creek Delta House) to hang out that evening and while sitting at the table drinking some wine and playing Trivial Pursuit, she suddenly told me that she was so happy that I was there with her and...well, it sort of melted my heart. It definitely meant the world to me to hear that from her.
Leave it to Heidi to say in a few simple words what I've been trying to get across for months.
There are some business-type things that I should talk about but I'll do it tomorrow or over the upcoming weekend. Right now, I'm just missing Heidi and so I thought I'd post a little something.
Have a great night, everyone.
Leave it to Heidi to say in a few simple words what I've been trying to get across for months.
There are some business-type things that I should talk about but I'll do it tomorrow or over the upcoming weekend. Right now, I'm just missing Heidi and so I thought I'd post a little something.
Have a great night, everyone.
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