Higher Forces At Work, Perhaps?

After all the debate of the past week (Should he go? Shouldn't he go? Oh, the cliffhanger ending left me wondering!) about the audition in New York and all of my attemps at figuring out the best way to get out there, do the audition, and come back in time for last night's curtain at 8PM, I opted to not go to New York for the day. It all seemed like too much of a hassle. And, as I think I said in the previous post, quite seriously everything in the world was going to have to fall my way in order for me make it back in time. It all felt a bit too risky.

So yesterday (the day of the audition), I stayed inside all day working on some computer stuff...more on that later...and when I finally left the building to head to the theater, Chicago was in the midst of a fairly impressive early-Spring cold weather storm. Not snow, exactly (that came later and continues on as I type this), but heavy sleet and temperatures hovering around freezing and a wind like you wouldn't believe. Essentially, weather bad enough to more than likely cause heavy delays in air travel. So had I gone to New York there was practically no chance that I would have made it back to the city on time for the show.

So I guess I made the right decision. This time...

So that left me to fool with the computer all day yesterday. What did I do on the computer? I tried to upload video of myself acting, of course! (Why, what do YOU do on your computer?) Friday early afternoon Heidi and I had a very nice, very long (nearly an hour and a half) phone interview/conference call with a woman in Seattle who is looking for couples to travel around portions of the country to various travel agencies and essentially sell, through a show-type atmosphere, various cruises to and tours around Alaska. It would mean about a two-month stretch of traveling around with Heidi, seeing some of the country, getting nicely paid, and finally going to visit Alaska! So at the end of the interview, this woman asked us to e-mail her some video of both of us acting, singing, performing, etc.... I don't know many people who actually have video of themselves acting so yesterday I spent the day trying to find video (like student films) and then copy it to my laptop so that could upload it or put it in an e-mail to this woman. And all I really got done was figure out that I don't know much of anything about technology.

Monkey Boy was of a lot of help. As was R-Son (tee hee!!). And I was finally able to find a student film online to link to and I'm trying to find a way to get some more somehow. I am determined to get this to work. Heidi, of course, managed to find some video (and audio...!!!!) of her and send it off already. Yikes! So now it's all on me to get this done. Because I feel like we're soooooo close to actually getting this job and...well...daddy needs hisself a job!

Meanwhile, the other day I got an e-mail out of nowhere asking me about my interest in understudying at a theater in a north suburb that I've come very close to working with a few times in the past several years. I hate the thought of understudying but I like the though of finally working at this theater. Nothing is done as of yet but it's nice to occassionally be thought of for roles...even if it is in a "back-up" kind of way. So we'll see.

Irons always in the fire. Maybe THAT should be the title of my autobiography...

The hits just keep on comin'...

What a month.

I know I need to be writing more but I hate being nothing but negative when I post. And since that's the sort of general mood I've been in for the past few weeks...I've been trying not to let it all out in this blog thing. But I realized today that there has been a lot going on these past couple of weeks and it HAS been a while so...here I am. So let's see...

After the bullshit of the Round Barn experience, I was sort of down. Luckily, Heidi was in that following weekend and that's when SHE had to turn down the offer she was given from Round Barn. Also insulting. So here we sit. We both continued our pursuit of a job that maybe we can get together, which would be awesome, and that is still up in the air as of now.

Blah blah blah...meanwhile I rehearsed the show I am doing here (and it's going pretty well). Heidi came up for an audition in the city (but for a theater in Indiana) around St. Patty's Day...even getting into town in time to share an annual Sweet VO Manhattan in honor of my grandfather)...and as soon as she left to head back home, I got a call from a casting agency in New York City. The guy was calling to invite me to an audition for a national non-equity tour of "The Wizard Of Oz", called in for the Cowardly Lion. This agency saw me at the UPTAs last month and had called me back that weekend. So this, essentially, is a third audition for this place. Pretty great, right?

Nope. The audition is scheduled for 2PM (Eastern) on Saturday, March 28th. And I am in a show the night before and the night of the audition...here in Chicago. I went to the director of the show I'm in right now and told him that I had to ask because this was a huge opportunity and a wonderful chance to do something good not only for my career but my life. Without much thought at all, he said he couldn't get somebody to fill in at the last minute and said he was sorry but that he couldn't allow me to go. The next day, I spent all afternoon...several long hours...trying to figure out a way that I could go to New York on Saturday morning, get there in time to make my audition, and get back to the airport in time to make a flight that would get me to Chicago and grab a cab to the theater for curtain. I got the advice of several people that I know who are very familiar with the City and worked my ass off trying to figure it all out. And finally...I couldn't work it out. After tons of looking around and checking timetables and stuff, I finally came to the conclusion that, literally, everything in the world would have to fall in my favor in order for it to work. And since no contingency plan was in place here at home (specifically for the show that night), that sort of doomed this day-trip to failure. It's Murphy's (and Tucker's) Law.

So I'm turning down an opportunity to be a part of a national tour that would pay me no less than $850 a week because I can't get out of a performance that pays me nothing at all. How does that sound right?

So...for the past week I've been trying to figure out what my next step is in this stupid career. And I think I may have come to a very difficult decision. I think that maybe my time in off-Loop Chicago theater is about done. I've missed to much over the past 8 years or so: friends weddings, family functions, and now...a real opportunity to make a living doing this. I may forgive this director for not allowing me to go but I can't forget. So I will complete both of the shows I've committed to (the one I just opened and another show that I'm stepping in for the weekend of Memorial Day) and then maybe step back quietly for a little while.

I'm still thinking about it and considering what my next moves are, but I have to think that maybe this is the right thing for me to do for a little while. Because I refuse to miss another prime opportunity like the one I'm not going to be able to take this Saturday. I can't let that happen again.

So...once again, I'm sad. And discouraged. And wondering what the hell I'm doing.