A Life In Limbo

OK...so that happened.

A little over two weeks ago, I went to UPTAs. That's not news, at this point. I got some good, promising callbacks (or so I can hope) and knew I had interest from the place that Heidi has been working at for the better part of this millennium, the Round Barn Theater. The Artistic Director, Jeremy, had talked to me about casting me in several shows and even had me come in to sing for him between Christmas and New Years. He kept ensuring me that an offer would be coming soon and when I didn't get one before UPTAs, I just figured it was because he needed an excuse to go down to Memphis for a long weekend. Whatever.

About a week ago (or so), I finally got an offer from the Round Barn. Not Jeremy, but the new Managing Director, Laurie (who sometimes will spell her own name wrong in business e-mails), who has all but usurped whatever power Jeremy used to have. She offered me 4 shows in a six-month contract from May to November at an insultingly low weekly pay rate. In an attempt to drag out the negotiating process, I asked questions and began pleading my case for a little more money in the hopes that another offer would come in and I could decide that way.

But within the process, I tried to clarify some scheduling conflicts I have in the upcoming year. Two weddings of some of the closest friends that I have. And she wrote back that not only was the pay offer fixed and non-negotiable, but if the contract is signed there are no exceptions to the "no extra days off" policy.

So what she wanted, in a nutshell, was to work me to death doing several shows in the middle of nowhere Indiana for six months at little pay with housing that didn't include television or internet access without two or three additional days off so that I could attend (and, for what it's worth, be a part of) the weddings of two of my dearest friends. I was offended. And insulted. I wanted to write back to her and tell her that she is dooming this theater to failure and all she's going to get to be in her shows are kids just out of college (or, as is the case sometimes, high school) who are going to treat the experience as an extended summer camp instead of a professional job. I wanted to tell her that she's nothing more than a stupid heartless bitch. I wanted to ask her how in the world somebody who hated the arts and artists and seemed to have nothing but utter contempt for all things artistic could work for so long and acheive such a lofty position in arts management. But I didn't. Because she knows Heidi and I are dating and Heidi still hasn't started her negotiations yet and it wouldn't be fair for me to stain that process essentially before it has started.

But this woman has made me so mad. What I've learned is that if I hated the arts, I could easily make a career in it. If I held complete disdain for artists and all things creative, I would be able to live fairly well and happily.

(---sigh---)

I wrote back to her and told her that I wouldn't be joining the Round Barn for the 2009 season and that asking me to not attend these two weddings was the ultimate offense. It's tame and it lacks, for want of a better term, balls...but it's all I had at the time. I'm still pretty upset about it. And maybe I'll post the whole e-mail string on this blog just for kicks. Get some feedback from you lovely people about what, if anything, I could have done differently.

And now all I can do is sit back and wonder what the hell I do next. I have two theaters that I'm desperately hoping will come through with an offer. But if that doesn't happen...I think I have to seriously reconsider what the hell I've done with my life for all these years. And then...I dunno...start another path?

This does NOT make me happy at all...